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0 A top psychotherapist has warned parents they are risking their children’s wellbeing by raising them as gender neutral ‘theybies’.
A new 60 Minutes segment looked at Australian parents who are refusing to treat their kids as boys or girls and referring to them as ‘they’.
Instead, parents are letting their children pick their own pronouns and gender when they get older.
However, British psychotherapist Mark Vahrmeyer, who works with children and parents on gender issues, has warned that raising kids without a gender could be setting them up for a difficult time at school and in society.
‘By raising a child perhaps in this way, where they’re not assigned a gender at all, they are different,’ he said. ‘By definition, they are standing out no matter how we look at it.
‘It does create that sense of difference and it is ultimately still an experiment.’
Aussie parents Amy and Danny revealed how they didn’t tell anyone Bertie’s gender because they didn’t want their child to be stereotyped (pictured together)
He also questioned whether children should be raised gender neutral, or if parents should leave it up to the child to decide whether they are gender neutral later in their lives.
‘I think it’s healthy, positive. But there’s a fine line perhaps between how far this is taken and how does a child orientate themselves in a world where they are told ‘you’re gender neutral, it’s up to you whether you’re a boy or a girl’.
‘There’s a very different discussion if a child comes to their parents and at some point in their life says, ‘well, actually, I’m questioning this and maybe I am a them’.
‘That’s driven by the child.’
Aussie parents Amy and Danny revealed how they didn’t tell anyone their child Bertie’s gender because they didn’t want their child to be stereotyped.
The couple were unhappy that their daughter Evie, now 9, was subjected to stereotypes, prompting their decision for Bertie.
‘The experience of having raised Evie and what we saw happen to Evie in the assumptions that were put on Evie as a girl, were things that we weren’t that comfortable with,’ Danny said.
They withheld Bertie’s gender from family and friends to ensure she wasn’t ‘influenced’ by gender norms.
Though people were confused at first, the parents said they quickly stopped asking.
Social scientist and gender creative expert Dr Kyl Myers (pictured with child Zoomer) and her Australian partner Brent are raising their children without gender
British psychotherapist Mark Vahrmeyer (pictured), who works with children and parents on gender issues, has warned of potential issues with raising children gender neutral
The parents admit they can’t manage people influencing Bertie the older the child gets but rejected the idea that they are making their life more difficult.
‘I don’t think Bertie is confused at all. I think what we’re trying to do is not limit Bertie. So if Bertie gravitates towards anything, we’re trying not to say, ‘No, you can’t do that’, but, ‘OK, sure, go and explore that thing’,’ Danny said.
Social scientist and gender creative expert Dr Kyl Myers and her Australian partner Brent are raising their children without gender.
Their child named Zoomer was raised gender neutral, before coming home at the age of four and revealing he was a boy.
‘He said, ‘I love he/him pronouns’ and, you know, and I was like, ‘that’s fantastic’,’ she said.
She also rejected claims that being raised gender neutral was ‘confusing’ for children’
Zoomer (pictured) was raised gender neutral, before coming home at the age of four and revealing he was a boy
‘I think it’s actually more confusing to make people, make children think that, what, the 8 billion people on the planet all neatly fit into one of two boxes?’
However, developmental experts have warned the parenting trend could backfire once children are exposed to the wider community.
And Chicago Medical School professor of neuroscience Lise Eliot told NBC News the children would struggle to fit in.
‘Once your child meets the outer world, which may be daycare, or preschool, or grandparents – it’s pretty much impossible to maintain a gender-free state,’ she said.
‘And depending on how conventional your community is, you could be setting your child up for bullying or exclusion.’
Source: | This article originally belongs to Dailymail.co.uk
