Dads want more time with their kids. But paternity leave in the UK is stuck in the dark ages | George Gabriel

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Taking four months of paternity leave when my daughter was born meant simply that I was there. I was there when my wife was recovering from her C-section and needed someone to carry our newborn up and down the stairs. I was there to drive us to A&E after our baby cracked her head, and there for the awful nights in hospital that followed as we waited to see whether she would be OK. I was there to spend day after day arguing with my incredible wife until we found our balance, our equality and a way to parent that works for us both.

But despite a growing mountain of evidence from sources such as Pregnant Then Screwed and the Fatherhood Institute that decent paternity leave is good for dads, good for mothers and good for babies too, the vast majority of British families get nothing like the support I was offered by my employer in the private sector. The UK has the worst statutory paternity leave offer for dads and co-parents in Europe: just two weeks paid at £184.03 – less than half the minimum wage. Self-employed fathers get nothing.

In 2015, the Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition promised to improve things by introducing shared parental leave (SPL), under which mothers could give their partner a portion of their maternity leave. But 10 years on from its introduction, it is clear this was a resounding failure. Only 5% of men take any SPL. It is so complex to administer that many employers simply can’t do it. It often means, as a father, taking leave entitlement away from the mother of your child. And in a context where many men still earn more than their partners, it’s a financial hit few people can afford.

It is a bitter irony that the gender pay gap itself prevents many men from taking paternity leave, because the damper put on women’s careers by becoming mothers is one of the gap’s major drivers. In other words, paternity leave is part of how we shrink the pay gap, and shrinking the pay gap would make it more affordable for fathers and co-parents to take paternity leave.

The situation in the UK is so bad that one in three fathers take no paternity leave at all, and one in two of those who do report financial struggles as a result. Speaking to dads around me, none of them want it to be this way. Marvyn Harrison, leader of Dope Black Dads, was working as a contractor when his first child arrived. The company he was working with allowed him to take two weeks’ unpaid, but after the first week at home, he realised taking more time off would leave his family short on the bills and he returned to work.

It doesn’t have to be like this. The vast majority of other countries across Europe and the OECD offer leave that is longer, better paid and more equally shared between partners. And the evidence is that betting on British dads and families would be good for society too. Countries that offer six weeks or more paternity leave have not only a 4% smaller gender pay gap but also a 3.7% smaller workforce participation gap, meaning this change could add billions to the economy.

The private sector is already cottoning on to the benefits of supporting parents, with companies including Vodafone, Deloitte, Aviva, Sir Robert McAlpine, Herbert Smith Freehills, E.ON, GSK and many more offering enhanced leave packages that go beyond the statutory two-week minimum.

In polling we commissioned at the Dad Shift, 76% of the public, rising to 90% of dads, agreed when asked that “fathers these days want to be a bigger part of their children’s lives”. Men today want to be more present when they become fathers, so now it’s time to even out the playing field with a statutory policy that reflects the times we live in.

The good news is that Labour has committed to a review of parental leave policy in its first year in government, and so this is a great moment to speak up and call for a system that gives fathers and co-parents more time, makes it affordable for them to take it and helps promote equality between partners as they raise their family.

Keir Starmer stood by his right to spend time with his kids during the election, even when he was attacked for doing so by his opponents. It’s clear that the prime minister works hard to live up to his responsibilities as a dad – now, with our open letter that you can sign, we’re calling on him to help other parents do the same.

This review is the best opportunity we’ve had in more than a decade to strengthen the UK’s offer for fathers and co-parents. It’s vital that we seize this moment and make sure that every new parent can take the time they need to bond with their baby, support their partner and figure out who they are going to be as a parent.