Do you return your grocery cart? A viral video ignited debate over this common courtesy

People have found a new reason to be angry on the internet, and this time, it’s about grocery carts.

More specifically, whether or not you return your shopping cart to the grocery store corral or leave it in the parking lot — and if leaving it is rude. The debate harkens to what’s been called the “shopping cart theory,” a supposed litmus test of whether or not someone has moral character.

“The shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it,” notes posts about the theory that started circulating online around 2020.

But as a new viral TikTok video with 11.6 million views points out, some shoppers may have a good reason for leaving their carts by their cars: their children’s safety, and their own.

“I’m not getting my groceries into my car, getting my children into the car and then leaving them in the car to go return the cart,” Leslie Dobson, a Los Angeles-based clinical and forensic psychologist, said in a video last week that immediately enraged the internet.

“You can judge me all you want,” she said.

Reader, they did. In comments and reaction posts, Dobson has been called lazy, entitled, a brat, irresponsible and a Karen, just to cite a few. Others wondered why she didn’t just park next to a cart corral, or bring her kids with her.

“I only have one fully functioning leg, and I return my shopping cart,” a disability advocate said in a video response.

“Kids are not an excuse to have poor behaviour,” wrote someone in the comments.

Safety concerns

In a follow-up video, Dobson explained her safety concerns, citing statistics about child abductions, laws about leaving running cars unattended and the number of crimes that occur in parking lots.

“If it feels safe, go return your cart. If it doesn’t feel safe, trust your gut,” she said.

According to the non-profit group Kids and Car Safety, at least 265 children in the U.S. were abducted during car thefts in 2022. And parking lots can present a risk of violence, depending on the location and time of day, notes the Government of Canada’s Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety.

Statistics Canada reported last year that just over one-third of non-gender-related attempted murders take place in open areas like parking lots and streets.

And some people could see Dobson’s point.

“As a former shopping trolley collector, it genuinely makes no difference, it is up to you and I would rather you keep [yourself] and family safe. Everyone, no matter who they are, has left a shopping cart,” one person wrote in the comments.

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‘Let the judgment come’

Dobson told the L.A. Times Monday that she never expected the level of anger and judgment she received for her video, adding that she’s received death threats.

But in a video update on Tuesday, Dobson claimed she’s also received thousands of messages from people saying they also don’t return their carts, but were too afraid to say so on social media.

“I am so happy this conversation is happening, because … if your intuition is telling you there maybe risk involved, don’t do it. Let the judgment come from other people,” she said.

Still, not everyone agreed.

“Worked retail for five years and you people were the worst,” one person commented on Dobson’s third video.

“I had to walk around in the parking lot alone late at night to round up all the carts left out,” the person wrote.

“You’re putting other people in real danger.”

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